Accepting Offers of Free Goodies From Friends

dragonmasterx · Post by **dragonmasterx** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 10:05 am

My mom cuts hair. I think it'd be pretty messed up if all her friends said "c'mon, we're friends can't you give me a free haircut." It always pissed me off when some of friends asked "c'mon, aren't we friends. Your mom should give me a free haircut."

Whenever I go to that restaurant run by my mom's good friend, she offers me a free meal. But I always refuse, because it doesn't feel right getting a free meal everytime - It'd feel like I'm taking advantage of the situation. Besides, she has a business to run.

The 80 year old lady next door plants her own vegetables. If my mom wants to buy some from her, the lady'll demand that my mom take them for free. So my mom lies, saying that it's for a friend, to be able to pay for the vegetables.

So do you accept generous offers of free goodies from friends?

son_michael · Post by **son_michael** » Wed Sep 20, 2006 7:29 pm

well let me ask you this...dosen't it hurt when you decline someones offer?

people do those things because they want to be kind, I fell like if I decline something like that then im bassically saying no to there generousity

its not wrong to accept kind offers every now and then

then again... sometimes people offer you things when it would be bad for them...in that case you should always decline

pesmerga786 · Post by **pesmerga786** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 12:17 pm

its ok to take free stuff but if you know someone works in a specific place dont always go there because you know for a fact your going to be offered something free and its going to look like you go there on purpose for the free stuff so stop it. but yeah if you drop by say your friends restraunt its cool to say no and if they insist then take it but use your brain people...

Feldoon · Post by **Feldoon** » Sat Sep 23, 2006 6:24 pm

Yeah, I'd accept it, to be honest.

However, I'd keep in mind that they'd been kind to me and it'd heighten my respect for the person. Which'd result in me being nicer and kinder to them.

Fu Su Lu · Post by **Fu Su Lu** » Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:13 am

Lets see, people are not so hard to see through of them. When I give a gift to someone I dont expect anything in return, because a gift is really that: a gift, and many people think that way...unfortunately most people dont

So, it is easy to see if afriendship is true or pure convenience in my opinion.

I remember I read somewhere that anthropologist began to study a tribe, so he wanted to befriend them and he bought the biggest and fattiest cow he found, a really magnificient animal to offer a banquet. He told the indians. They answered:'Yeah, we know the animal you are talking about, but he is only bones' They did not change their words after watching the cow and even after eating it...enjoying it fully 'This animal is real a bad taste' or 'This was not a good gift' while they chewed for the anthropolist surprise. As he discovered later, they did that because that culture thought that gifts make slaves. So they wanted to make it look like a minor gift.That is a radical opinion, but think for a moment a rich person make you free goodies, if you accept them and cant give sometihng back... except if your rich friend is not a true good person you are gonna be in a annoying situation.

Red Killey · Post by **Red Killey** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 6:32 am

Most of the times, I do accept it, but in the end, it comes down to 3 important factors for me:
1. What is the free stuff itself? (expensive or not)
2. How rich/poor is the person? (especially related to point #1)
3. What is my relationship with the person? (family, friends, strangers?)

This "free goodies" happened to my family very often when we dined at my cousin's restaurant. The restaurant is located near my grandma's place, so if we visit my grandma (which is like once a week or so), we always had lunch or dinner (or even both) there. My cousin is usually trying to be nice and offered free meal because she knew that my dad also helped her family a lot with the business and their life there (they came from different town). But at the same time, it's not good for their business if they kept on giving free meals for a family of 4 like mine all the time (and I'm sure they also try to do the same with my aunts/uncles, etc). So they'd insist on free meal, but my dad would insist that we'd pay full. And in the end we'd usually settle for 10-25% discount instead or free drinks instead of everything.

Going back to my initial 3 points, I usually reject if it's expensive item (unless I really "deserve" one or they are *really* rich that the item is cheap for them), I'd definitely reject if I don't think they should be spending the money on me, and I'd consider relationship too in a sense that if they're just normal friends, I'd probably reject it. I'm not too comfortable receiving gifts from people that I'm not close to.

pesmerga786 · Post by **pesmerga786** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:43 pm

Red Killey wrote:Most of the times, I do accept it, but in the end, it comes down to 3 important factors for me:
1. What is the free stuff itself? (expensive or not)
2. How rich/poor is the person? (especially related to point #1)
3. What is my relationship with the person? (family, friends, strangers?)

This "free goodies" happened to my family very often when we dined at my cousin's restaurant. The restaurant is located near my grandma's place, so if we visit my grandma (which is like once a week or so), we always had lunch or dinner (or even both) there. My cousin is usually trying to be nice and offered free meal because she knew that my dad also helped her family a lot with the business and their life there (they came from different town). But at the same time, it's not good for their business if they kept on giving free meals for a family of 4 like mine all the time (and I'm sure they also try to do the same with my aunts/uncles, etc). So they'd insist on free meal, but my dad would insist that we'd pay full. And in the end we'd usually settle for 10-25% discount instead or free drinks instead of everything.

Going back to my initial 3 points, I usually reject if it's expensive item (unless I really "deserve" one or they are *really* rich that the item is cheap for them), I'd definitely reject if I don't think they should be spending the money on me, and I'd consider relationship too in a sense that if they're just normal friends, I'd probably reject it. I'm not too comfortable receiving gifts from people that I'm not close to.

yeah those are all good points there. i just went to a comic store yesterday and one of my old friends from like 3 ye ars ago was working there and we got to talking. then he was like what you stop by here for and i just wanted some yugioh cards and he asked how much i had and i had 5 bucks on me. he gave me 6 booster packs for 5 bucks. that was reallly nice. i also got some really nice cards also. i was happy . anyways i stuck around for like 2 more hours there and just talked and played some card games